Stupidity + Technology = Big Trouble

An executive from the PR firm that represents FedEx flew down to Memphis to meet with his clients a few days ago. The PR executive sent out a Twitter when he landed that he could never imagine living in a place like Memphis. Unfortunately someone from the FedEx team waiting for the executive was following the Twitter. Needless to say, the people from FedEx who pay the PR firm millions of dollars a year in fees were not amused. God only knows what possessed the PR man to let loose with such an idiotic comment--and who was he expecting to shake their heads in agreement--because sending out a Twitter, or an email, isn't the same thing as having a thought bubble pop harmlessly over your head. I'm not sure I quite see the benefit of Twitter myself--sending out headlines on a minute by minute basis seems a bit much, both from the sender and the receiver's standpoint, but maybe that's just the next logical step in the digtal arms race. Clearly, though, a little technology can be a dangerous thing.

Revenge of the Birds

Flying is boredom, wasted time, inconvenience, indignity and discomfort interrupted by short bursts of terror. I hate flying. Whenever I fly into LaGuardia I always hold my breath, thinking we are going to ditch in the water. Takeoffs are worse, though -- how could this multi-ton bucket of bolts, packed to the gills with junk and cheap bags, possibly float through the air? Today's crash into the Hudson River, even with it's miraculous lack of casualties, reminds me why I like to hang out with my kids, play cards, and goof around, rather than schlep them across India for quasi-mystical treks. Even though it's safer to fly than to drive, and even though an air crash is the exception to the rule, I'm always happy I don't have to spend the day in the airport. And, when I think about it, the fact that birds were sucked into the engines and made the planes fail has a certain ironic charm--what the hell are we thinking, anyway?

Kicking The Economy When It's Down

I can think back, with great embarrassment, of the many times in my life I have kicked, punched, cursed or otherwise visited violence upon an inanimate object that refused to work as expected. Once in a while the result would be positive--a car would start or a vending machine would give me my diet soda. Usually, though, this tactic resulted in utter failure and a feeling of hopelessness. Last night I was headed back home on my commuter railroad train. I saw a train conductor gently kicking the stop light on the train pictured here (the light on the left, as you view the photo). The stoplight was dark. I was laughing to myself about the futility of the situation as he firmly tapped it with his foot. Then, suddenly, the light went on and he calmly returned to his work. When I boarded the train and skimmed the NY Times headlines on my Blackberry, I wondered if the conductor could perhaps be convinced to give the economy a couple of exploratory kicks. You never know.